I did a Google search of what women over 50 should have and got a ton of responses back on items like signature fragrances, sex, and fashion.
I swear Google, really? I don’t know about you, but there is more to life than a great pair of jeans.
As I think about the stage of life I’m in (mid-50’s) and how relying on the surface of life really messed me up, I decided to design my own list of items women need in their toolbox.
Self-worth. What is self-worth?
According to the dictionary it’s a respect for or favorable opinion of oneself, and the sense of worth or value as a person. When you realize your total and true worth it’s easier to not settle.
To help you on the path to self’-worth ask yourself these questions:
What are your core values, and strengths?
What do you hold dear, that you will not waver on?
What are you truly good at?
Are you practicing gratitude every day?
Do you indulge in self-care by kicking all things toxic out of your life?
“Your self-worth is determined by you. You don’t need anyone defining that for you.”
A real delight in your uniqueness.
I used to be really embarrassed by some of my thoughts and actions. I always felts like I was too awkward to belong in the real world. I felt no one would like me if they knew just how dorky I am.
Not delighting in your uniqueness leads us to wear masks. We are fakes in essence, denying our true self in order to “fit in”.
“Embrace what makes you unique. Even if makes others uncomfortable.” Janelle Monae
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A path of your own design.
Are you still being led down a path by others? Designing your own path will allow you:
The freedom to be who you really are. See above on delighting in your own uniqueness. There is nothing inherently wrong with being conventional. I know first hand how devastating is is not to be who you really are.
The wonderful opportunity to create your own meaning. Don’t think marriage is important? Great – create your own idea of the framework of relationships.
“If the path before you is clear, you’re probably on someone else’s. Joseph Campbell
A big, hairy, audacious goal (BHAG)
A goal so glorious it scares the crap out of you. It’s a way to stretch yourself, and cut loose from the confines of the comfortable. Regardless of whether your reach this BHAG, you will gain confidence in the journey, and there’s no idea who you might meet along the way.
“Ambitious goals make for outstanding achievements.”
The power of your own story.
I think this is the most important item to have. When we women tell our stories, here is what happens.
Other women will relate, as your stories will be similar. They no longer feel so alone. I’ve had so many women tell me that my story was there story. Oh the names and places may be different but the overall themes are the same.
Other women will feel compelled to share their stories, thus continuing the ripple you started.
You will become more empowered by owing your story. Because if you don’t own your story, it will own you. Even if your story is not a great one, owning it means you will love yourself through that process, which will aid in any healing you may need.
“When we deny our stories, they define us. When we own our stories, we get to write a brave new ending.” Brene’ Brown
What do you think women over 50 need to have in their toolbox?