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Good bye self help – it wasn’t me it was you

I listened to a podcast where a young man had tried one of those productivity morning routines. When he could not get up at 5:00 a.m. he asked himself why he was such a loser. How in the world was he to be productive if he could not even complete the first task of the day?

That is when he decided to get curious as to why he wasn’t getting up.

In his pondering he realized he could not get up that early because he was working 15 hours a day, and he was exhausted!

It was an aha moment for me.

Dear friends, I am sick to death of the traditional world of self-help.

I Googled the definition of self -help. It’s the use of one’s own efforts and resources to achieve things without relying on others. (Kind of ironic huh?)

In October of 2021 I left my job. I needed a break from the world of everything.

Those six months of quiet were really good for me. My partner has seen a marked difference in my happiness level. I now have a job as a Development Director at a small, new non-profit. They have no donor development system, and I will be in charge of developing a robust and sustainable fundraising plan.

That’s my jam, totally!

On my six-month sabbatical I quit Facebook, my podcast, my online community, and decided to break up with what the self-help industry was selling.

I’ve decided to no longer follow the practices of self-help, personal development, self-improvement or whatever you want to call it.

I am no longer reading any self-improvement books, following any self-improvement bloggers, or downloading any more courses, or videos.

After all the decades of devouring self-help I know what to do. Yet, I didn’t do it. And in the words of my dearly departed mother, “I know you know, but knowing and doing are two different things.”

I know what you are going to say, “Well how is that the fault of the self-help people? They can’t be blamed for your shortcomings.”

And I am not blaming them. They just aren’t good for me.

My game plan for the rest of 2022

I am going to focus on my physical health.

I could stand to lose 50 pounds. That would make my doctor and my knees very happy! My mother died five months before her 63rd birthday. As I am fast approaching 60, this weighs heavy on my mind. I am going to continue my whole food plant-based way of eating, which is 95% of my eating.

I am going to focus on my mental and emotional well-being.

I quit Facebook, and the podcast because I spent too much time following the likes, and comments, and the vanity metrics. “I don’t need your likes, you can keep them,” is my new mantra.

I am going to do more writing. I have a blog on my website, newly minted, and the blog is really about nothing. Just a few of my adventures. I don’t check stats, and I don’t care who reads it. It’s a way for me to create a visual and written diary of my life.

What a concept, doing something just because you want to do it. Why didn’t I think of that before?

It’s time to take my life back, and just focus on me.

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