***WARNING – this episode talks about suicide.
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Lisa Sugarman is an author, a nationally syndicated columnist, a three-time survivor of suicide loss, a mental health advocate, and a crisis counselor with The Trevor Project. She’s also a storyteller with the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) and the host of The Suicide Survivor Series on YouTube. Lisa is also a Survivor of Suicide Grief & Loss Facilitator with Samaritans. She also writes the opinion column We Are Who We Are and is the author of How To Raise Perfectly Imperfect Kids And Be Ok With It, Untying Parent Anxiety, and LIFE: It Is What It Is, Her work has appeared on Healthline Parenthood, GrownAndFlown, TODAY Parents, Thrive Global, The Washington Post, LittleThings, and More Content Now. Lisa lives and writes just north of Boston. Visit her online at her website. for more information and resources talked about in the show.
In our conversation, Lisa recounts her profound experiences with loss and grief, particularly through the suicides of her cousin, father, and childhood friend. She reveals how learning at age 45 that her father’s death, long thought to be a heart attack, was actually a suicide, fundamentally altered her understanding of her past. This revelation led her into mental health advocacy, engaging with organizations focused on suicide awareness and prevention. Sugarman emphasizes storytelling as a crucial tool in processing grief and fostering vulnerability, sharing her journey of coping with her father’s death and her mother’s efforts to protect her from the truth.
Sugarman discusses the challenges children face in processing trauma and the importance of understanding family histories, including hereditary risks related to depression and anxiety. Her evolving perspective on suicide—from seeing it as a selfish act to recognizing it as a symptom of mental illness—propelled her to share her experiences more openly, eventually becoming a crisis counselor with the Trevor Project, supporting LGBTQ youth in crisis. She underscores the importance of recognizing signs of distress and advocates for supportive responses from friends and family.
She says to stop using the phrase “committed suicide” for its negative connotations, advocating for more compassionate language like “died by suicide.” Our conversation highlights the need to change the language around sensitive topics to promote open discussions and acknowledge the unique complexities and traumas of suicide loss. Sugarman underscores the importance of intentional grief processing and seeking support, emphasizing the availability of national mental health resources and specialized support for various communities such as LGBTQ, BIPOC, and veterans. She stresses the importance of addressing emotional challenges directly and provides a mental health resource hub tailored to community needs on her website.
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Show Notes
Main Theme:
Lisa Sugarman’s journey through profound personal loss and her transformation into a mental health advocate serves as a poignant exploration of grief, understanding, and the importance of compassionate support.
Key Highlights:
- Personal Journey of Loss:
- Lisa Sugarman shares her intimate experiences with loss, including the suicides of her cousin, father, and childhood friend.
- A life-changing revelation at age 45 about her father’s death—previously believed to be a heart attack but actually a suicide—reshaped her understanding of her past.
- Advocacy and Storytelling:
- Sugarman’s discovery propelled her into mental health advocacy, particularly focusing on suicide awareness and prevention.
- She emphasizes storytelling as a vital tool for processing grief and encouraging vulnerability.
- Challenges in Processing Trauma:
- Discusses the difficulties children face in processing trauma and the significance of understanding family histories and hereditary risks of depression and anxiety.
- Evolving Perspective on Suicide:
- Shares her shift from viewing suicide as a selfish act to recognizing it as a symptom of mental illness.
- Her openness about her experiences led her to become a crisis counselor with the Trevor Project, supporting LGBTQ youth in crisis.
- Supportive Responses and Education:
- Highlights the importance of recognizing signs of distress and providing supportive responses from friends and family.
- Advocates for open conversations to reduce stigma and encourage help-seeking, contrasting her role as a school social worker with the discomfort many educators feel in addressing student distress.
- Compassionate Language:
- Critiques the phrase “committed suicide” for its negative connotations, advocating for more compassionate language such as “died by suicide.”
- Resource Availability:
- Stresses the importance of addressing emotional challenges directly and provides a mental health resource hub on her website.
- Emphasizes the availability of national mental health resources and specialized support for various communities, including LGBTQ, BIPOC, and veterans.
Conclusion:
Lisa Sugarman’s narrative underscores the necessity of intentional grief processing, the power of storytelling, and the crucial role of compassionate language and support in mental health advocacy. Her work highlights the importance of accessible mental health resources tailored to diverse community needs and encourages ongoing open dialogue to reduce stigma and foster healing.
Your Host – Shelly Drymon
My mission is to empower and inspire women to embrace their life transitions as opportunities for wellness, growth, and self-discovery and live their lives with clarity, purpose, and joy. Committed to honesty, integrity, and authenticity, I lead by example, showing that it’s never too late to live a life you love.
